Well, you have to start somewhere! This is to let you know that I am here and working on some new content.
Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow
Can we talk about the hair thing? If you know me well, then you know of my love/hate relationship with my hair. I confess that it’s been mostly hate. Cut it off. Grow it out. Permed. Highlighted. Curled. Straightened. Layered. One length. You name it. I seriously considered calling a close friend before my haircut yesterday to ask if I’d ever said, “If I ever tell you I’m going to cut my hair off again, don’t let me do it.” Seriously. While I don’t recall ever making that pronouncement, it’s well within the realm of possibility.
So much mind clutter over this hair of mine. In trying to get to the root of the issue, I reflected on this conundrum. Misperception and false thinking strike again: Not pretty enough. Not feminine enough. Not professional enough. Why can’t my hair be like so-and-so’s hair? Why can’t my hair be <insert ridiculous thought here>? Enough. I also noted a pattern. All the times I’ve chopped my hair off, I was letting go of something I’d been holding onto that definitely had to go. Hmmm.
Then it hit me: God knows every hair on my head. God loves every fiber of my being, even when I continually try to fix some part of me that God created with tender care. Maybe, just maybe, I’m beginning to believe this deep in my heart. Maybe I’ve outgrown my hair. My hair wasn’t the broken part of me at all. My thinking was. Time to let that go.
The Shape of You
The precious children of Zion, worth their weight in fine gold— how they are reckoned as earthen pots, the work of a potter’s hands! – Lamentations 4:2
When I was a kid my brother and I watched a live action/educational show titled Gigglesnort Hotel. Looking back, that show was chock full of bizarre characters. One of those characters was named Blob. Blob was a gigantic lump of grey clay that the host, Bill Jackson (BJ), could shape into any form that he wanted. Blob made countless unintelligible noises as BJ worked him over. In the end, Blob would exit the scene a new creation…until the next episode. Hmmm. Sounds familiar, doesn’t it?
Are there days that you feel like a formless lump of clay? Is the Potter mid process? Are you left on the Potter’s wheel seemingly spinning out of control? Are you left to utter unintelligible noises like Blob?
You are not alone. God’s got you. Every turn of the wheel. Every spin. Every shaping. Every reshaping. God’s got you.
You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me. – Psalm 139:5
How wonderful is that?! The one who forms us continually re-forms us. The Potter loves us so much as to not leave us as we are, formless lumps of clay.
But we have this treasure in clay jars, so that it may be made clear that this extraordinary power belongs to God and does not come from us. – 2 Corinthians 4:7
And what of this treasure in those clay jars? What is this treasure that sustains us through all of life’s jarring moments? The light and love of Christ. The light that shone out of the darkness. The light shone into our hearts. The source of strength in our brokenness and weakness. The source of all life.
Shapeless? Not a chance. Always being shaped into something beautiful: you.
The Holy Lowly
A few days ago, a spoken prayer on a morning prayer CD that I listen to caught my ear. I don’t recall the exact words but the gist of the prayer was to be mindful of God’s presence throughout the day, especially in the stranger.
That afternoon I did encounter Jesus, at the hair salon, in the form of a young woman who was clearly and admittedly struggling with some addiction issues. I confess that my discomfort almost got the best of me. Even with training and practice, some situations prove more challenging than others. This was one of them.
Comfort zones are exactly that: comfortable and difficult to step out of! At a loss for words, I simply prayed silently and listened as she shared her struggles. There was Jesus, amidst this woman’s tale of stolen property, hard times, regret, broken relationships and frustration. Our encounter ended with a few brief words and an awkward, nervous laugh.
Had I not heard that prayer that morning…had I not stepped out of my comfort zone…I may not have noticed the holy in the lowly: my own discomfort and lowliness, the lowliness which I perceive in others and the lowliness of God. May my eyes be opened to the holy lowly every day.
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Post-worthy
In recent weeks (and months?) I’ve struggled with feeling uninspired. There, I said it. Now I realize this is my own perception, not necessarily reality. Could it possibly be Wisconsin winter?! I’m fairly certain that this drought is not due to lack of working hard, reading, praying, studying, listening and what not. Dry seasons happen. And yes, I know the ever-present source of inspiration: the Holy Spirit! Perhaps my expectations of what inspiration looks and feels like may be out of whack. There, I said it. Wait, did I just put God in a box again? Ouch!
Seeking to regain a deeper connection with the Spirit of inspiration, I took a break from social media this Lent. Now four weeks into this experiment, I have to say that I miss Facebook and don’t miss it. I’ve been told that at least one person is missing my “inspirational” posts. As far forging that deeper connection, I sense that is happening as I’ve been inspired to start this blog.
The confluence of these various streams of consciousness? Post-worthiness. On social media, we create alternate versions of ourselves, cleaned-up versions to present to the world. e.g., Should I post that I’m watching the game and unhappy with the outcome? Do I need to post a new profile picture that makes me look thinner? Is this plate of lasagna post-worthy?
In the words of Admiral Ackbar, “It’s a trap!” I stepped right into it, even questioning the post-worthiness of this blog post! Ah, the land of doubt…
Our worth is in Christ, the one worthy of our praise. God’s love for us extends beyond Facebook facades and into the deepest, messiest, most broken places of our souls. God’s grace is sufficient. And there’s plenty to go around. Extra helpings for this work in progress, please!
Driven
Without a doubt, I love a good road trip. The idea of leaving home with a full tank of gas, some road snacks, a music playlist and a few audiobooks with an open itinerary thrills me. Alas, it seems that such opportunities are becoming less and less frequent as my life progresses. And the daily commute doesn’t offer quite the same level of adventure as the open road does. For now, this free spirit will settle for an occasional family vacation and enjoy the drive time.
My deep desire to hit the road makes me wonder: Am I driving or being driven? Why do I prefer to be behind the wheel? What compels me to traverse the unknown hills, highways and hazards?
This could be a good segue into Jesus Take the Wheel. Cue the music…. Nope. Not going there.
Consider the road trip. The driver is in command of the vehicle. Passengers go along for the ride. Do the ones being driven (passengers) backseat drive? Do they notice the scenery along the way? Do they see the signposts? Do they help navigate? Do they sleep? All of the above?
Being driven requires us to put complete trust in the driver. Imagine that you call for an Uber and Jesus shows up. Hang on for the ride! When life feels like you’re going full speed ahead, you wonder if Uber driver Jesus has given YOU the wheel as he needed to adjust his sandal. Panic sets in. You can’t do that! Help me, Uber driver Jesus! But he’s there all along to assist. (Remember that he slept in the boat during the middle of the storm?) It seems it takes situations like this for us to admit the true source of our strength and our complete reliance on the driver.
But ask in faith, never doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind. (James 1:6) Driving or driven? Driven and tossed by the wind of the Spirit, trust the driver. Be alert. Take notice of the scenery. Marvel at the master’s handiwork. Watch for those signposts, markers on the faith journey. Go with God.
Returning
My first blog post ever (ten years ago) was titled Returning, so it’s only fitting that my first post on this blog should be titled likewise. As I was moving across the country some years ago, a good friend reminded me, “You’re only moving back to a place you once lived. You’re not the same person you once were.” And so I return to the blogosphere. A place I once lived. Not the same person I once was. God’s cool like that: transforming, healing and renewing. Let’s journey together, shall we?