Today I was reminded of the importance of collegial connections and having something to look forward to: retirement in this case, whenever that may be. One of the icebreakers during the workshop had us pondering what our dream retirement looks like. I didn’t have an answer to that question.
Losing a loved one disrupts your life, forcing you to rethink everything. Great. I excel at thinking. I own a t-shirt with the phrase “Professional Overthinker” on it. Yep. That’s me. Think. Overthink. Second guess. Ruminate. Think again. Overthink again. Anyone relate?
How I pictured living out the remainder of my days looks very different now. I’m working with a blank canvas: opportunity, mystery, anxiety. All of that. I trust that a new vision will be revealed as my spirit heals. Did you hear that, God? Your servant is listening.
Lately, I’ve been reading “Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief” by David Kessler. The book encourages readers to do exactly what the title says: find meaning through loss by honoring your loved one’s memory in meaningful ways. All of this happens as you navigate searching for meaning and purpose in your own life while you wade in the river of your tears and sorrow. In reading this book, I realize that I’ve already been doing meaning making things and little rituals to remember Dennis, carrying on some of his shticks and whatnot. Finding meaning and purpose in my own life is up for re-evaluation (and overthinking. Ha!).
While my canvas may be blank or blurred, hope abounds. Here’s to healing, health, and hope. And thanks to my colleagues who gave me much needed hugs today