In the days before cinematic universes, we had the Super Friends. Saturday mornings were spent in front of the television watching our favorite characters defeating evil and saving the world from a variety of calamities. My favorite super friend, of course, was Wonder Woman (with Aquaman a very close second). What’s not to love about Wonder Woman? She had it all: confidence, kindness, strength, athletic prowess, intelligence, a magic lasso, and that awesome invisible plane. I have this small Wonder Woman on my home office desk. You press the button on the front, and she says a variety of sayings. She just told me that I am a wonder woman! I suppose that I am because I do a lot of wondering.
Amid this grief era, I wonder when my weary spirit will come back online. You know how it feels when you get the little buffering symbol while waiting for the interwebs to catch up to your need for immediate gratification and the video to play or the screen to load? Now apply that to a person. Yeah, I am buffering.
Back to my wondering. I wonder when a full night’s sleep will return. I wonder when the brain fog will wane. I wonder if this fatigue lasts forever (see lack of sleep and remember the amount of energy grief consumes). I wonder when the paperwork will subside. I wonder what God is up to. I wonder how I am managing to do this. I wonder where the heck my joy went and if it will ever return. I wonder where I will end up once I am beyond the depths. So. Many. Questions. They are rhetorical questions, by the way. I don’t expect answers. Actually, please don’t answer. I know God’s got me and that I’m surrounded and upheld by my people.
If you’ve been wondering what grief is like, this is it, at least for me. I am a wonder woman! Now where did I park that invisible plane?