11 months today, but I find that I’m thinking about 12 months ago. A year ago, we were living our lives with no indication of what would happen. With busy schedules, we were often two ships passing in the night, but looking forward to all that summer would bring: campground time, band practices and performances, vacation time planned. I look back on our text exchanges from last May: usual banter, a few puns, a number of ETAs. This is where the shoulda, woulda, and couldas come in. If we knew when the bad stuff was gonna happen, would our behavior change? Would there be more “I love yous” and less nitpicking? More hugs and less complaining?
Obviously, we can’t go back and change anything. I can only change how I live and love from here on out. Death does that, gives you a change of perspective. You ask yourself: What is my legacy? How have I shared God’s love, light, and peace today? Am I bearing any fruit on this griefy, dead looking branch?
Things you do differently after a loss blesses you with a life paradigm shift: Tell your people you love them more often. Tell your people what you love and appreciate about them while they are among the living. Those little nitpicky problems don’t matter much in the grand scheme of things. Your heart knows what your spirit needs. Listen to it. Do the thing. Plan the trip. We don’t know how much time we’ve got. Savor every moment, beloveds.