Grief isn’t all sadness. As time moves forward, grief evolves. If you are in the early stages of acute grief, know that the level of yuck you are experiencing right now will diminish. That’s not to say that every day will be a banner day. Some dumpster fire days come out of nowhere, so you stop, drop, and roll with it.
Imagine yourself covered in sticky notes. Each one represents a loss you experienced at some point in your life. The dog who died. The layoff. The divorce. The bankruptcy. The friend who betrayed you. The car accident. The deaths of family members, friends, and acquaintances. Insert other losses here. You get the idea.
You’re walking around with all of these losses. Some of the sticky notes fall off as time passes and you process the grief associated with these cumulative losses. Everyone has these sticky note grief inducing events, even the folks who deny their existence, claiming to shake them off and have “gotten over it.” If we could see each other’s sticky notes, perhaps our love, understanding, and compassion would multiply.
With apologies to Taylor Swift, you can shake it off, but guess what? Later on you may very well find one stuck to the bottom of your shoe or lingering in your jacket pocket, triggered by an unexpected event, memory, place, or situation. Grief is sticky like that. It never fully goes away.
Did I mention that we ought to be mindful of the stickiness? If you find the losses are hanging on like the superglue construction worker of the 1980 television commercial, you may be stuck in grief. Your spirit will know if this applies to you. Listen to your family, friends, and others who love you. There is no shame in seeking the help of professionals.
As this path of healing beckons you forward, remember that you are not alone. Allow God’s transformative presence and power to break through the pain and sorrow as you process and heal. Grief seasons are growth seasons. While growth comes with varying levels of challenge, it also comes with heaping helpings of grace. Give yourself some. You will get through this.