Last week I purchased a bag of jelly beans, for my Easter guests to enjoy, of course. 
As I decanted the jelly beans from the bag into a more suitable container, I realized something: there were no black ones to be found. Did I purchase a defective bag? Is this some kind of joke? I know they make bags of solely black jelly beans, but the regular bags always include a few. I know folks have strong opinions on that subject, so Iâll go ahead and say it. Black jelly beans are my favorite! Not favorite enough to devour an entire bag of them, but I like to have a few mixed in with the others. Has it come to this? When did this happen? Was there a big announcement from the confectionery company that I missed? And why did it take me so long to notice? Sigh.
When weâre not paying full attention to something, while weâre living blissfully unaware, stuff happens. Sometimes irreversible stuff. Bigger things than jelly beans. Put into Holy Week terms, remember when Jesus asked the disciples to stay awake and pray with him? Stay awake. Pay attention.
Wait, I know this scenario. A number of years ago, early in my ministry, one Sunday, I realized that a dear church member wasnât attending services. Now it was winter time in Wisconsin, so I said to myself, âMaybe theyâre a snowbird or on an extended vacation. I havenât heard otherwise. How long has it been? Write yourself a note to reach out.â Once I reached out, I received a letter that firmly poked a pastorâs heart. Thanks for noticing my absence. No one else did. No. One. Noticed. No one reached out.
Hereâs where we could debate whose responsibility it is to notice when folks donât attend church. In the years since my encounter, church attendance patterns have further evolved. Regular attendance is no longer every week or even every other week. Once a month? Hit or miss? How do you notice a pattern shift in a moving target?
As a pastor, you often wonder why folks leave the church. Was it something I said or didnât say? Something I did or didnât do? Really? Reality check that ego. You donât have that much influence, lady. People leave faith communities for an infinite number of reasons. God is working on something in them individually while simultaneously at work in the larger faith community.
Folks are disappearing from churches. Not in a sci-fi way. They are finding joy, meaning, purpose, and engaging in community. Just not ours. What do we offer? Stares, glares, and nobody cares? Kindness, hospitality, and good news? Or âhey, youâre sitting in my pew?â
On Easter, a number of folks will attend worship services who havenât been there for a while. Maybe they attended previously until their confirmation. Maybe they carry memories and wounds of church hurt. Maybe they find community elsewhere. Show them kindness. See them and welcome them for who they are, where they are. Maybe theyâll come back. Maybe not. May they experience Christ either way.
This Holy Week, I pray that my colleagues and I will create safe spaces of welcome for all, stay awake, lead with love, and proclaim the good news confidently and boldly.
Now to find some black jelly beans. Peace, friends.