You’ve probably heard that we make plans and God laughs. Truth! I planned for a difficult grief week last week. I was ready to take part in a few little rituals to make the memories hurt a little less and give some meaning to the whole mess. Little did I know that this stinking virus would take me down. You know those green boogers in the mucinex ads? That’s how I picture this virus, sitting in the corner, pointing and laughing at me and my silly plans.
Remember what you’re always preaching, pastor lady. God gives us what we need. So, I needed to get sick? Perhaps I just needed to get pissed. At the little laughing booger in the corner? Yeah, sure. And some other stuff: my husband is still dead, my creativity keeps crashing, work still feels wonky, and no one wearing tights and a cape is coming to the rescue any time soon. This Lent is the Lentiest.
I wept with Mary, Martha, and Jesus this morning because Sunday is always coming. “Lord, if you had been here…” Woof. I know you’ve been hanging around, God, because you keep me hanging on through it all. Parts of me died with Dennis. Here’s to hoping the rest comes back online, new and improved. It stinks now, but hope abounds. Lazarus, come out.