I haven’t written in a while, mostly due to a rather demanding schedule since returning from my vacation, plus some other mind-consuming distractions.
Now nearing four months without my favorite actuary, I’m mindful of the frequency and severity of this grief that continues to infiltrate my days. Perhaps less frequent. Severity depends on how and when the waves of heartbreak hit. Believe me when I say that the hits just keep on coming.
Lately, this journey feels a lot like a platform video game. I think that’s what they’re called. You know, the games where you advance along a path and have to make perfectly timed jumps to reach the next thing, all while trying to avoid falling into the abyss or getting knocked down by whatever the enemy is trying to pummel you with? Yeah, that kind. All of this is happening to a soundtrack of silly music that maddeningly becomes an earworm for weeks on end. Also, you must accomplish this while your game controller is wonky. It’s like that.
You do your best to keep moving forward. Another death-related task comes up that needs to be addressed. Another medical bill comes in the mail. Another event without your person there to accompany you. Another football season is starting and no one to yell at the television. Another day on this wild ride we call life which has precious and few days. Don’t fall into the abyss. It’s like that.
Thankfully, I continue to be upheld by my dearest and nearest ones. I continue making forward progress despite some obstacles and leaps of faith required along the way, wonky controller and all. I’ll claim for myself a level up.